God has a purpose for creating you. You must discover this purpose and fulfill it; otherwise you will go through life frustrated, dissatisfied and restless like a fish outside water. There are many things you need to do to fulfill your God-given purpose and one of them is good relationships with others.
You can never achieve any worthwhile purpose all alone. You will always need people either to help you achieve it or to receive what you have to offer, therefore you must be careful how you treat others.
You should always exercise self control and approach issues from people’s point of view as long as it doesn’t contradict God’s instructions i.e. 1 Cor. 8: 8-13.
Reason with others rather than argue and admit it when you are wrong. Be genuinely interested in others(Phil.2:4). Don’t discard people easily; even when they seem to be worthless to you.
Someone who has behaved in a very bad way today, may be needed badly tomorrow. You will always need men at the same level, others below and some above your level.
You need colleagues and godly friends to help you become what God wants you to be and achieve your God-given purpose. In Eccl:4:9-10, the preacher, the wisest man says two are better than one. If you find yourself alone, decisively prayerfully look out for godly friends and colleagues who have similar callings and purposes to relate with.
Pay the price to maintain such relationships and you will get rewards from it. Remember it’s not every believer or even minister at your level that can be your close friend, let God guide you.
You also need men below your present level. God is wise and doesn’t waste his resources; he needs you to also pour out part of what has been deposited in you in the next generation. Be a Timothy, commit the things God and men above you have committed to you unto faithful men who shall be able to teach others also. Purposely search out faithful young men and women that you can relate with sincerely as friends to pour out your life into. Don’t be carried away by the things you will gain from friends at the same level or above and neglect those who are below.
Be careful how you order such people around because they are joint-heirs of the kingdom; not your servants. Moreover, remember that levels can change.
Learn to purposely form good relationships with those above your level. Don’t be passive.
- You must deliberately look for people above you to relate with. It is usually very easy to relate with people at the same level. Many times, friendships are struck when people find themselves in similar circumstances. It is even a lot easier to relate with people below because in some situations, you can give them instructions and order them around; but it’s not easy to relate with people above.
You have to make deliberate efforts in most cases to succeed at this but it will surely yield great dividends. - If you follow those who are superior to you, you will arrive faster at your destination. Sometimes these superiors teach you how to do things and you do them better than if you had been with only your mates; but even if they don’t teach you how to do things, they will surely teach you how not to do things.
You will learn from their mistakes and experiences and avoid things which could have posed as obstacles and objects of delay on your journey. You will have access to their friends and other resources you might not have had access to on your own. - Some people get confused about recognizing those who are superior. Check out the results some people already have in your area of purpose; those who have obtained better or more results than you can be regarded as superior. It’s not determined by age or financial status or time of starting ministry.
It is the results expected from achieving that purpose. You should desire to learn what makes such people have the results you want in your ministry. In 2 Kings chapter 2 v7, the group of prophets had been watching Elijah from afar all these while and they were viewing him as a co-prophet or co-minister; even though it was obvious that the grace of God was greater on the life of Elijah, in the area God had called them to work.
They did not covet or pursue this grace at all. In V9, Elisha who had been close to this prophet (and serving him) to the end was the only recipient of the grace and the anointing that was upon him.
Those who refused to move close to his master, though being referred to as sons of the prophet while he was referred to as a servant, had to bow down to him after receiving the double portion of Elijah’s anointing (2 Kings 2:15). - Don’t criticize ministers especially those above; remember nobody is perfect. In Ex15:20 it is obvious that Miriam, Moses older sister was also a prophetess but in Num 12:1-15, we are made to understand that though she was an older sister to Moses, and a prophetess they were not mates in the sight of God.
What she was criticizing in Moses’ life was wrong but she was not supposed to do so. She should have left him for God to deal with. Do you know that God punished her with leprosy just because she spoke against Moses, the great prophet?Be careful therefore, how you make comments about ministers of God generally and especially those who are above you, so that you will not experience God’s wrath. - Marriage is a special relationship which can make or mar your purpose. You must learn all you need to know about marriage and prepare very well for it. A great woman of God called Kathryn Khulman almost lost her purpose completely after several years of being a powerful instrument in God’s hands because of a wrong marriage, if not for the mercies of God.
- If you are yet to marry, you must marry the right person because whoever you marry will determine whether you will fulfill your destiny or not. Someone who is not born again can never be right for you. If you desire to be directed by God and learn how to recognize his leading, he will surely lead you to the best partner.Such a partner will not just help you to be closer to God but will be peaceful and interested in your progress. He/she will support your purpose and do his/her best to help you fulfill it. On the contrary, a wrong partner, though born again will make you frustrated and miserable for ever.In 1 Kings 21:25, it was said that nobody ever did as much evil as Ahab did because his wife stirred him up. If Ahab had not married Jezebel, his story might have been different from that. Your story will also be determined by whoever you chose to marry.
- If you are already married, do your best to ensure that your marriage/home succeeds or else your purpose can be frustrated. If you are a wife, let your purpose or vision complement your husband’s own and not compete with it (Col 3:18). Men should also note that God can give a woman her own vision; therefore don’t criticize or fight her for having a vision or spiritual purpose, rather show love and help her to fulfill it.Be careful to form and retain only right relationships, remember that it’s only iron that can sharpen iron (Prov. 27:17). Some Christians are not wise and can be regarded as wood not iron. They will only drag you down while you think you are trying to pull them up.Remember that according to Prov. 13:20, he who walks with wise men shall be wise but the companion of fools will not just be a fool but will be destroyed. Study the characteristics of wise people very well in the book of proverbs and carefully choose those whom you will closely relate with; otherwise you will be drained.
Right relationships result in progress but the wrong ones will drain you of your resources which could have been harnessed to make progress.