God loves you and he is always seeking to show you the best way in every area of your life including marriage (Psalm 19:2). Receiving guidance in choosing a life partner is important in every Christian’s life because the decision can help or disturb God’s plan for your life. If you succeed in choosing someone who is the will of God, you are more likely to experience peace and success not just in that marriage but in other aspects of your life.
Many Christians choose partners based on different reasons, not necessarily because the partner is the perfect will of God. They may have children, build houses, make a lot of money but they will know somewhere deep within them, that they have missed it and will not be fulfilled. The proof of a successful marriage is not in having children, money, fame or any other thing in this world. In a successful marriage, one partner helps the other to fulfill life’s purpose, they have peace within them and are convinced that God agrees with the relationship.
There is no easy answer to guidance, it’s part of a relationship. It’s very easy to experience if you live and walk in the spirit but it’s impossible unless you do. Rom 8: 12-14, 5. In this article, I want to share some important tips with you about hearing from God which will assist you in choosing the best partner.
- As long as you are born again, you can hear God.
You can understand what God is saying, guidance is for every child of God, not just a few matured ones. In 2 Chronicles 36:22-23, King Cyrus an unbeliever, was able to understand God’s mind. Don’t think that God will tell your Pastor who is the best person for you to marry. Don’t be deceived by people who take names to meet a prophet, thinking that the prophet can help them find out the best person. You are the one who will live with your partner for ever, therefore you are in the best position to understand what is God’s mind. - God speaks in a language that you understand:
You don’t need to be afraid whether you will understand what God is saying concerning anything including marriage. God speaks to different people in a language that each person understands. Begin to study the way God speaks to you generally, He is likely to use the same method to communicate the issue of marriage partner as well. For example, God speaks to me through dreams, vision and inner witness. Can you believe he used the three methods to communicate who my husband is? Moreover I got confirmation from older Christians, Pastors etc.
- You need to be connected to him to hear him properly:
If you have a phone and switch it off, you will not receive phone calls on it, not because it’s not able to receive calls but just because it is not connected to the network where it’s expected to pick signals from. You need to be connected to God and be at his frequency in order to understand his mind concerning issues including marriage. Pray for at least one (1) hour and read your bible for at least thirty (30) minutes in a day. Pray in tongues often and be obedient to the Holy Spirit, you will maintain your connection with God, and being guided by the Holy Spirit will be a normal occurrence and not occasional in your life.
- You should actually pray for guidance.
Start to pray for guidance today, it can never be too early or too late. In Gen 24:12-14, Abraham’s servant prayed for guidance and God answered him. He led him to meet a humble, well trained and godly lady who was willing to follow him to marry Isaac.
- You need guidance in every aspects of your life:
You should be determined to know and follow God’s will in every aspect of life, not just marriage. For example, one of my husband’s cousin was directed to attend a church different from my husband’s church. On getting there she joined the drama group to serve God. One day, during rehearsal, the Holy Spirit opened her eyes to see one of the brothers in the group as her husband and not long after, he came to propose marriage to her. If she had not been obedient to God to attend that Church or join the drama group, she might not have been located by that brother on time or at all. Note that knowing God’s will may not always be sudden, it may be step by step guidance. God may lead you to be friendly with someone, then he opens your eyes that she is your wife. .
- If you are not sincere and determined about doing God’s will, you may not know it.
Don’t live double lives. Don’t keep on hanging on to someone in a love relationship and be praying that God should show you his will. Any mental reservation in commitment to God’s will deaden the divine voice. When your mind is set on some issues, you will not be able to hear God very well. The lord will not cross the picket line of your will. For example, if you have determined to marry someone from a particular tribe, profession, age bracket etc. you may not be able to hear God’s voice. - The will of God is not what you don’t like:
God will not give you someone you don’t like. In fact, God considers your makeup, your experiences etc in designing his will for you. Don’t be afraid that God may give you an illiterate as a partner when he knows you are a graduate. He is an understanding, wise, and kind father. - Don’t let emotions or physical attraction or money cloud your judgment:
It’s great to be in love with someone of the opposite sex who is very beautiful or handsome. It’s also a privilege to enjoy favour in a form of money or opportunities from people, but these should never be a reason for marriage. The mother of Solomon, the wisest man told him in Proverbs 31:30, that all these are deceitful and in vain. They are not the factors that should determine who you choose to marry. When God spoke to me concerning my husband, I thought he was not handsome and rather too tall for my height, but I had determined to do the will of God, therefore I accepted and gave him a positive response. One day I introduced him to one of my sisters whom I considered more social than I and she was really excited. She started questioning me how I managed to get such a handsome man. That day my attitude changed and now I know I married a handsome dude. Maybe the person you are thinking is not fine enough is even more appealing to others around you, or the man you think doesn’t have enough money will be very wealthy in the future. A godly spouse is ten thousand times better than a rich spouse.
- Determine to get a godly partner meant for you:
As you are praying and considering people, the first principle you must hold tenaciously is that, if you are born again, your partner must be born again. God can never lead you to marry an unbeliever.Then ask yourself if he or she is someone who obeys the word of God or just plays church. Be determined to marry a godly partner not an unserious Christian. Moreover, remember that not it’s just any godly believer that comes your way can be your life partner. God is the one who know your past, present and future, let him lead you to the best godly person that is meant for you.
- Plan a prayer retreat:
If you have practiced the tips above and you still find it difficult to receive a partner, then plan a prayer retreat. Put aside all businesses, people and issues and wait on the Lord, you will surely hear him speak to you. - Be patient and wait for God’s timing:
He can never fail you if you trust and depend on him with all your heart.
Conclusion:
Make up your mind today, that you will not marry just anybody. It’s not enough for the brother or sister to be born again and be attending a Pentecostal Church. You must be sure that the person loves God and is the perfect will of God for you.